


Forgetting

by Aweebwrites



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Established Relationship, I Made Myself Cry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 17:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19431124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aweebwrites/pseuds/Aweebwrites
Summary: Jay dreams of Cole...





	Forgetting

Jay stared out at New Ninjago City below, his mind much farther away. Or rather, much closer. He felt phantom touches trail up his arms and down, feeling as if someone was rubbing them. As if… _He_ was rubbing then. Jay took a shuddering breath, blue eyes filled with tears. It wasn’t real. He knew it. He was _gone_. He was… A sob bubbled in his throat but he swallowed it down as the tears fell soundlessly down his cheeks. How much longer must he suffer like this. He knew it was unhealthy but at the same time…

He felt pressure against his back and on his shoulder and couldn’t help but relax, imagining he was there, holding onto his upper arms, pressing his chest against his back as he placed his chin on his shoulder. He wants to keep this. Wanted to keep this reminder. It wasn’t him, it was his mind. He knew that but…

He wanted to keep him in his memories and this helps. The others have forgotten. But he hasn’t. He couldn’t. He couldn’t forget the day Cole… Moved on.

_**‘C** **ole!’** He reached out to grab his ghost boyfriend’s hand but it had faded away, the rest of him fading too._

The last thing he heard and saw him say was that he loved him. The memory made the raw void in his chest ache even more. It’s been a little over a month now and he still can’t get over it, over him. Most days, he would mention him to the others and they wouldn’t have a clue as to who he was talking about, thought it had always just been the five of them plus Sensei Wu. He knew better. The pressure wrapped around his midsection, pressing against his neck and he sighed shakily, leaning his head away so the feeling could progress to nuzzling.

More tears stream down his face as he rested his hands over the pressure around his waist, thinking back to when Cole and he would do this, spend a quiet night or morning just looking out, embracing like this. He would nuzzle behind his ear… The feeling traveled higher to his ear and he couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped him. Cole knows his ears are ticklish. He always goes for them to make him laugh, to cheer him up but now…

He sobs, his body shaking with each one that forced its way out of his throat.

_He couldn't…_

He covered his mouth, sinking to his knees as he tried to muffle the sobs, tried to not alert the others. They already think he’s crazy. He isn’t. Cole was here and he loves him and misses him. He misses him so much…

He felt the pressure on his hands, insistent now. He pulled his hands away from his mouth, hardly able to keep quiet, keeping his eyes shut. What did he- _it_ \- want now? His wet lashes fluttered open in surprise as he blinked his eyes open. There was a pressure just under his left eye, like a…

_A kiss._

The pressure appeared under his right eye too. That… Cole’s never done that before. Was he that far gone to imagine this or…

“Cole?” He whispered, his voice just shy of inaudible, as if the single sentence would take this away him too.

There was a pressure against his lips and he couldn’t help but lean towards it. His hands were released and the pressure appeared on his cheeks, as if he was cupping his cheeks. His eyes fell shut as he reached up, putting his hand over where the pressure point was. His eyes fluttered open in surprise once he… He felt something. He focused, tracing… A hand?… He looked up, eyes wide and just before him- His breath caught at the familiar black haired figure.

“C-Cole? Is that really you?” He whispered in awe, reaching out to touch his face.

He spoke- _but Jay couldn’t hear him._

_What?_

He didn’t understand.

“Cole… Why… Why can’t I hear you?” He asked, cupping his cheek- but he turned to sand the moment his fingers touched him. “What? Nonono! No! Cole!” Jay yelled, trying to stop him from deteriorating but he was nothing but grains of sand in his hands that slipped through after a moment, leaving him with _nothing_.

He took rapid, shaky breaths as his hands shook. No. He was just here! No! _No_!

_**COLE!** _

_

Jay jolted awake with a gasp, hand immediately coming to cover his chest as he panted heavily, sweat running from his temple as he blinked the tears out of his eyes. He could still feel the sands running through his fingers. He relaxed into bed, trying to catch his breath. He covered his eyes with his arm a moment later, gritting his teeth as more tears came.

_He hated this._

_It was horrible._

It was bad enough that he lost Cole, that it haunts his dreams… But now? He rolled over and buried his face into his pillow, sobbing into it as he gripped it so tightly, his knuckles turned white.

_Now he couldn’t even remember how his voice sounds._

_Couldn’t remember how he looked beyond his dark hair…_

He was…

_Forgetting._

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a wip I haven't been able to touch in a while. If I update it, I'll put something in the summary.


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